January 2021 – Becoming Better.

The curious technique successful people use to ‘connect the dots’

At Stanford University’s graduation ceremony in June 2005, Steve Jobs delivered an unforgettable Commencement address to graduating students.

In his speech, he shared a story about how seemingly-unconnected experiences ended up being critical to realizing his accomplishments, even though he didn’t know it at the time. His inspiring address is worth listening to in its entirety, but one lesson in particular caught my attention:

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
– Steve Jobs

As I considered this, I realized that for some accomplishments in life, the “dots” are handed to us; such as graduating college: “pass this list of courses to earn your degree.” While these accomplishments are still difficult, it’s easier for us to trust that our dots will connect to achieve an end goal.

More often, however, we aren’t handed a well-defined curriculum to follow – especially for our personal goals. Instead, it’s up to us to discover the dots, leaving us wondering whether they’ll eventually connect and lead us to a successful outcome.

This practice of “finding the dots” is full of uncertainty, which can quickly turn into stress, anxiety, or complete loss of motivation. In other words, it’s difficult to trust that what you’re doing will eventually get you to where you want to be.

So I asked myself: How can I increase my trust that my “dots” will connect? What can I do to help me stay motivated to reach my goals successfully?

Answering this took a great deal of introspection, but in the end I narrowed it down to just one answer – a simple, practicable skill that reduces uncertainty for anyone looking to “connect the dots” to achieve their goals.

To understand better, let’s take a look at the true story of my good friend Mike, who recently “connected his dots” to build his self-confidence and tackle a goal that many of us consider, but rarely act on: a career change.

Becoming Better, one post at a time

Creative writing is hard. It takes a certain headspace, focus, and energy level. To give myself the best chances of success in re-kicking off Becoming Better, I’ve set two immediate goals:

Generate at least two thoughtful posts per month. I need to balance creative writing time with my life and career, so I’ve given myself a soft landing and committed to writing two (non-meta) posts per month.
Leverage both short-and long-form posts. One of the reasons I failed in 2016 was the sheer amount of time it took me to write a single post. I was full of ideas, but as I started writing them out, they exploded in size and scope. A topic I thought I could explain over a few days’ writing ended up taking weeks, which kept happening until my ideas piled up and I lost all momentum. Creative writing takes time, but not every topic needs a long explanation. This time around, I’m committing to both short- and long-form posts, which I can flex to my available time.

One of my main intents is to improve my storytelling, so each post will have some aspect of story to go along with its idea/concept. It’s an excellent opportunity for both of us to learn a lot, and I’m excited to share it with you!

“I’m in Focus Mode”

When I was in 2nd grade, I was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). This curse/blessing continues to this day, and learning how to manage it in each moment has become an exercise in mindfulness and frustration.

To explain ADHD simply, my brain has a great deal of difficulty controlling its attention. My focus bounces around like a butterfly weaving erratically through the air, never seeming to have an intentional direction. To understand what this feels like, let me explain what I went through while trying to write this post:

Breathing new life into old ideas

I started this blog in 2016 with the lofty goal of pivoting my career into becoming a personal growth coach. I wanted to do what Lewis Howes does; be another Ramit Sethi, become a Tim Ferriss.

While these are excellent role models, and the idea of becoming a content author and coach is certainly interesting, I was looking at their results of years of effort, and expecting that I’d just to be able to do it. Furthermore, I saw it as a side hustle rather than my full-time job. Life got busy, I lost interest, and as a result, my idea crashed and burned.

But this canvas is still here. It’s time to breathe new life into old ideas.

Only, this time, it’s different. This time I’m not focused on creating a bunch of courses, worrying about SEO and competition, or writing something perfect for mass market appeal. This time, I’m simply using this blank canvas to paint my ideas. I’ve made a long study and have a lot to say about thinking, acting, and being successful, and this place will be my outlet to share these ideas and build on them over time.

I hope you’ll come along with me on this journey 🙂